JANUARY 05:  Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) (R) receives the Speaker’s gavel from outgoing Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) (L) January 5, 2011 in Washington, DC. (Getty Images)

This is my gavel. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My gavel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My gavel, without me, is useless. Without my gavel, I am useless. I must bang my gavel true. I must hit harder than my enemy who is trying to kill me. I must crush him with it before he crushes me. I will…