He caught a case of the quick step.
Via KTRK:
A Florida man is behind bars after stealing what he thought were Hydrocodone pills, but which turned out to actually be over-the-counter laxatives and not powerful prescription opioids, according to a criminal complaint.
Cops allege that Peter Hans Emery, 56, took the pills from a “lock box” at the victim’s Pinellas Park home Thursday morning.
The complaint lists Emery’s home address as the site of the theft itself. His relationship with the 49-year-old victim is unknown.
Emery, cops say, was recorded by a video camera “entering the victim’s lock box, selecting a pill bottle, pouring pills into his hand, and then leaving.” The pill container was labeled “Hydrocodone-Acetaminophen.”
However, Emery subsequently discovered that he had not swiped painkillers. The pill bottle actually contained dosages of Equate Gentle Laxative, which promises “predictable overnight relief” from constipation.[…]
Emery, a habitual offender, has served a combined 28 months in state prison and has a rap sheet brimming with arrests for offenses like burglary; cocaine possession; forgery; grand theft; resisting arrest; auto theft; and failure to appear in court.