Via Daily Wire:
The media is making quite a big deal out of the gun owners who are getting rid of their guns in an effort to promote gun control. Well, I am a gun owner, too. I will happily join these people in disarming myself, just as soon as conditions warrant it.
To be more specific, I will get rid of my gun the moment my gun becomes self-aware and develops the ability to go off by itself and shoot people on its own initiative.
I will get rid of my gun as soon as I begin to feel the insatiable urge to become a mass shooter.
I will get rid of my gun if I ever lose half my brain cells and no longer possess the basic competency to store and handle it safely.
I will get rid of my gun if someone can pull out a Bible and show me the verse that makes it a sin merely to own a weapon, or to use it for self-defense.