Dear Terrorists, Achmed the Beheader has a sore throat and isn’t up to the killing today. Please excuse him.
Via Daily Mail:
Battle-weary ISIS fighters are trying to dodge frontline duty by getting doctors to write them fake sick notes, a report has found.
Morale has fallen to its lowest level in the terror group’s rank-and-file after a drop in wages and territorial defeats.
In recent months, it has been forced to cut all salaries by half, slash benefits and ration electricity, after air strikes hit their oil and cash reserves.