You got problems?  I got problems, Michelle is one.  Drones is another.  Who doesn’t got problems?  Here, I got this healthcare thing for you.  You want it?  Yeah?  You need it, don’t you!

It’ll only cost 85% of America 75% higher premiums, but who cares right?  Care that problem away.  Too fat to breathe, work or walk to the bathroom?  Watch what I’m doing here. BOOM! You got ObamaC – the C is for caring.

Can’t speak English?  Can’t understand English?  Write and speak in Esperanto?  Engrish?  Dvorak?  Klingon?  Call 1-800-318-2596, that’s right 1-800-318-2596 – operators are probably there.  Navigate your way to 1-800-318-2596.

You wanted a pizza roll?  Too bad, watch that go away.  Boom!  See?  No pizza roll!  No more employer healthcare roll either!  See what I did there?  Huh?  Pizza? Healthcare roll?  Whatever call 1-800-318-2596 tell em’ Barry sent ya!!

Original image courtesy of IOTW, altered and credit removed by internet.

UPDATE:
SooperMexican convinced me to do this as a commercial for our weekly podcast and thought you guys might give a damn about hearing it.  He’s probably wrong though. Click here to listen