I wish.

Via TPM:

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) called Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) a “puppet” on Wednesday, accusing him of following Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) into a government shutdown.

“Speaker Boehner is in this position because, sadly, he’s become a puppet — with Ted Cruz pulling the strings,” Schumer told reporters, elevating the rhetoric 36 hours after the first shutdown since 1996.

“When Sen. Cruz told Speaker Boehner to take up a crusade to defund Obamacare, the Speaker did it,” said the No. 3 Senate Democrat. “When Sen. Cruz told the Speaker to delay Obamacare for a year, the Speaker did it. And when [Cruz] told the House pass piecemeal bills in a cynical attempt to pit important programs against each other, the Speaker is now trying to do that.”