A little humor for your Saturday afternoon.
It should be apparent to even the most casual observer that there has been a recent string of railroad disasters that cannot simply be written off as coincidence. Three major accidents in Spain, Pakistan, and Switzerland have occurred within the past week alone.
Based on our exhaustive research, we have found that rail disasters1 have skyrocketed since 1960, forming a “hockey-stick” type of pattern. This pattern mirrors almost exactly the famous “hockey-stick” graph of global temperature developed by Dr. Michael Mann and introduced to the world in Albert Gore’s highly-acclaimed documentary, “An Inconvenient Truth”.
As shown in the graph below, in a comparison of atmospheric carbon dioxide to rail accidents, it becomes obvious based on the graph’s title that the steady increase of manmade CO2 emissions is somehow related to the exponential increase in rail accidents.
Since the threat of global warming is now settled science, and it is heinous to even consider the possibility that there is any uncertainty about the disaster that awaits, we must warn that if left unchecked, this phenomenon result in 15,000 rail disasters by 2025, and accidents will continue to increase by the tens of thousands each following year. Since there are only 14,538 trains on the entire planet, this will mean that every train on every track in the world will derail, crash, and explode.