No thanks.

WASHINGTON, D.C. ( – After running a $15 million negative campaign targeting any candidate who considered cutting off its federal funding, Planned Parenthood is extending a hand across the aisle to those candidates who ran on a pro-life platform.

Demonstrating its renowned political savvy, Planned Parenthood quickly zeroed in on the insecurities of defeated Republicans after the election. In an interview with The Huffington Post, Richards propositioned those who she had been attacking only days earlier.

“We will focus on working with lawmakers at all levels, from all political parties, to ensure that millions more Americans can get the health care they need,” Richards said.

“Back in the olden days,” she said, “the Republican Party was the party that supported people’s individual rights and keeping government out of personal health care decisions, so I think there’s a history they can go back to.”

“A lot of Republicans used to support family planning,” she said, “and Richard Nixon signed that first federal planning program into law. There’s a clear pathway to [win back women’s support], and it’s to listen to the middle of their party instead of the extreme fringe.”