Biden: I’ll take this white kid.

Cashier: Uh, he’s not for sale, he’s a child.

Biden: What do you mean he’s not for sale? I promised Mooch I’d bring her back a snack.

Biden: Who stole my ice cream?

Patron: You ate it, Joe.

Biden: I don’t believe you. Who stole my ice cream?

Psst, how would you like to meet the First Lady?

Excuse me, can you tell me where I should order?